Reindeer Food

As I am sure people get tired of the same old Christmas posts, I thought I would just put the unique things about this Christmas. First of all, ever since Jenna (my sister) was little, she always made "reindeer food" to sprinkle on the lawn outside for Santa's reindeer on Christmas Eve. This year, since we are staying at my parents' house for a few months while we find a new house, C got to join in the fun.

Needless to say, he loved it. And we all had a good time sprinkling it outside on the lawn...even though it was raining and Adam accidentally punched me in the head with an aggressive toss. (Santa took pity on him and still gave him presents, but he is definitely on the "check twice" list for next year.)

The second unique thing was that my mom, Jenna, and I all got aprons for Christmas. Jenna and I got cute pink, black and white polka-dotted ones with our initials, and Jenna (for her first sewing project) made a beautiful new one for our mom. Alyssa did not get an apron because, well, Alyssa pretty much owns every cute and fun thing (it's true--check out her new condo) and already has a super cute apron.

The third unique thing was that after weeks and weeks of tormenting each other, Adam and Maisy (my parents' cat) finally made friends. Okay, well I guess that's not really true...they do chase each other around a lot, but Adam gives the cat more treats then all the rest of us combined.

And finally, we very sadly forgot our camera when we went to Adam's parents' house for Christmas dinner. What was unique about our Christmas there? Hmmm...oh I know. I was passing out presents to everyone in a room full of about 18 people, and when everyone but Adam's sister, Beth, was absorbed in opening gifts I started to do ballet moves behind the Christmas tree. Not that I know ballet, but it was just hilarious that I was standing in the middle of the room and no one was noticing (except Beth who I wanted to laugh). That was slightly embarrassing, but said in keeping with the theme.

There were many other unique things about this Christmas, but as usual it was a wonderful few days and a perfect celebration of the birth of our Savior. And C is already making a list for next year. Why just yesterday he saw a commercial for a hair straightener on TV and told me I needed to put that on my Christmas list. I wonder what he is really trying to say.

Girls Weekend!!!

In December, my good friend, Erin, was about 8 months pregnant with her first baby, so our other friend, Lynnie, and I both flew down to Florida for her baby shower...without our kids! (I'm sure both Lynnie and Erin have appeared on the blog at some other point...we were all roommates at BYU.) Now don't get me wrong...Lynnie and I both love our children without end, but every once in awhile you need a little girl time. C had a great time at home with Dad and Gram, so I didn't feel too guilty.

The weather was absolutely gorgeous!! The day we flew in it was in the high 60s, and every other day it was right at 79/80 degrees. Very, very nice considering I left 30 degree weather and I love me some flip flops. We got pedicures, went out to some scrumptious restaurants, and shopped and shopped. And Lynnie and I made some new friends at Erin's shower! And most importantly, we talked and talked and talked. There are few people I enjoy talking to more in this world than those girls. It was just what I needed to try to make it through another year.

But...by the time I was flying home I honestly couldn't wait to see my boys. Families cause this awful catch-22...sometimes you can't wait to get time away, but as soon as your gone you miss them desperately.

The Dinosaurs are Dead

Yesterday, I had a little conversation with C that went something like this:

C: I had a dream about dinosaurs. Do you bemember dinosaurs? They were in my room.
Me: Do you know that there aren't any dinosaurs anymore? They lived a long, long time ago, but then they all died and all we have now is their bones. We can see pictures people drew of them, but we can't go to any zoo anywhere and see any.
C: The dinosaurs are dead?
Me: Uh-huh.
C: Did they go to live with Jesus?
Me: Uh....Uh-huh.
C: And Nanny? (Adam's grandmother who passed away about a year and a half ago)
Me: Uh....Yes, the dinosaurs live with Jesus and Nanny.
C: And they're all dead?
Me: Yes.
C: [long pause]........Well....then we better put their food in the fridge.

Really, I don't know what we did for entertainment before we decided to have kids.

DTR

Wow. Been awhile since we posted. I thought that while we were living with my parents for a few months we'd have more time, but it seems to be just the opposite. We had a wonderful Halloween (and I'll post a few pics later when I'm on the right computer) and a really fun Thanksgiving.

I think C is somewhat adjusted to living here but he seems to have decided to be mad at my mom instead of wanting all her attention. I think it is because she seems a little more empowered to handle some discipline, and he doesn't really care for that from her. My relationship with my mother is pretty much the same, only changing in the ways I would expect.

But it really has brought to mind this idea of an evolving relationship between a mother and a child. With C and I, he is only three years old and already our relationship had changed dramatically. Now, he wants information from me mostly...for instance he wanted to know the other day where the animals put their food if Baby Jesus was in their manger. I want to do as much as I can to spark his creativity, and he has a lot more personal needs than a typical child his age. But I also need to do some things for me sometimes, and just have "quiet" time.

So where is the balance? I see moms with new babies and moms with all grown-up kids who struggle with this same issue...and what do you do? Oprah would tell you that you need to have your "me" time and I think Dr. Phil would tell you to explore all your personal feelings and needs so as not to keep them bottled up, but I don't know that I agree with either one of those. I do think you are a better mom if you take time for yourself. Even Jesus Christ, the perfect example, took time away from his disciples sometimes to meditate and be on his own.

But I do believe there is a line, and sometimes I know I see people that are crossing it. I think that if you choose yourself and your feelings once, that's okay. But if that is a frequent choice and is damaging to your children, or more importantly your relationship with your children, then I think it becomes inappropriate.

My problem is that it is always easier to look at and judge others than it is to see those things in yourself. So I spend my days wondering if I'm doing enough for him, or not doing enough for me...and I guess in the end if I wonder enough both ways maybe it means that I'm really finding some undefinable middle ground. Guess I'll just hope for the best.