Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Falling Apart and Coming Together

My mom called at 8:30pm last night. I was hoping instead it was the real estate agent, calling to say one of the people who looked at our house on Saturday put in an offer (the same sad hope I have every time she calls), but no luck there. I greeted my mom with the usual, "How are you?" and her reply was, "I've been better." From her tone I knew it was not an emergency thing, but a sad thing, so I walked out to the living room with Adam and sat down on the couch.

She told me that my grandma, her mother, had passed away. My grandma was not a young grandma by any stretch...my mother is the eighth of my grandma's ten children and now a grandmother herself ...and my grandma had health problems too numerous to list. But it still came as a bit of a surprise, as we had no notice she was having any serious health issues.

My sisters, cousins and I have all expressed the same thing...that we have this strange mix of joy and sadness. We know that Grandma was prepared for death, and missed my grandpa, who died in an accident 15 years ago. I have no doubt that she is much happier now than she has been in a long time.

But for some reason, that perfect knowledge still couldn't hold back my tears. I have wandered around for most of the day in a haze. I forget what I'm about to do the instant after I decide to do it...I can't remember where I put anything...I keep forgetting what I am supposed to do and where I'm supposed to go. I am flying out to the funeral on Thursday, but I can't even begin to think about what to pack...especially since Connor will be staying home with his dad, and I actually don't have to pack for a kid. It's as if I can see the pieces of myself scattered about...and I know I'm all here but I just can't find the will to put myself back together just right now.

But I can tell you what I do know--family is coming. That side of my family has over 50 first cousins, and lots of them have kids of their own now as well. Many of them I haven't seen in years and years, and even though it is a sad reason for such a gathering, I am so excited to be there. I feel so, so blessed to have such a wonderful and supportive family who in times like these have the innate and automatic reaction to pull together and comfort each other. I know that they are exactly what I need right now. What a blessing it is to be born into families, so that we have the opportunity to know others well enough to help them along their way.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Outage and the Full Moon

I got special permission to tell this story, cause it the hardest I've laughed in quite some time.

A few nights ago, Adam and I were gearing up for the Big East Conference Championship (basketball, for those of you blessed with husbands less interested in sports) where our team, the Louisville Cardinals, would be playing for their first conference title since joining this conference. Just a few minutes before the game was supposed to start, our power suddenly blinked and then the entire house went dark.

Adam and I stared at each other in disbelief. We've lived in this house for about five years, and have yet to loose power--even through the windstorm of Ike and the ice storm a few months ago. We opened our front door, and walked out into the front yard under a perfectly clear sky. All our neighbors still had power, except for our neighbors in the house just to our left, who had also walked out into their front yard. We chatted and it was decided we would both call the power company in the hopes of getting a faster repair.

I think the guy at the power company must have been angry I took him away from his book or something, because I have never felt more stupid than I did talking to him. I told him the power was out, and he asked me if "all" of it was out, or just some. (I'm thinking, "Yup, I turned out the lamp and then called you.") Then he wanted to know if there was a noise when the power went out. I told him just the noise of it going off. So he told me that electricity is "mysterious" (he seriously said that) and doesn't make a sound when it goes out, as if he's catching me in a lie or something. I told him I meant the noise the TV and everything else in the house made when it suddenly went off. So then he asked if it is just us, or other people on our street. I told him it was us and just the neighbor next door, and he tells me that no, it should be us and then next five houses. So at this point I start to wonder if he actually shut our power off himself since he seems to know so much. I tell him it is only us, and he keeps insisting more people should be without power and wants us to check again. He asks if I am calling from a phone I can take outside. (Now it is my turn to be sassy) So I tell him since the power is out our cordless phone doesn't work. At that point I was fed up, so I told him to call Adam's cell phone and talk to him. Adam finally convinced him we weren't making it up, and the guy agreed to send a truck out.

Once the truck arrived, the workman walked back along the backyard fence between our house and our neighbors' house to shine his flashlight on the transformer. Adam and I had nothing better to do with no power, so we both pressed our faces against the glass of the two tall windows in the kitchen in the back of our house to watch.

Suddenly, the workman turned, shined his flashlight back toward the house, and started to walk toward us. Adam had walked away from the window a few seconds earlier, but I just stood there like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't figure out if I should run away so he wouldn't see me gawking at him in my thin nightgown, or stand there and pretend I was casually looking out the window at something else in the darkness. I started questioning Adam about what I should do and if he thought the workman could really see me. In the panic, I guess my fight-or-flight response must have finally kicked in because almost involuntarily I whipped around to run back toward the center of the room.

And when I did, that's when I saw it--the full moon. Adam was standing in the middle of the kitchen, mooning the workman (and me). Truthfully, I really doubt the workman could see. But instead of worrying about if the guy saw me, I found myself rolling on the floor, laughing harder than I have in a long time.

You gotta love a man who can diffuse a tense situation.

So it turned out the transformer was bad, and they had our power back on in a few hours. Sorry, no pictures for this post...I'll just keep that one to myself. But I'll be laughing for a long time.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Who's-its and What's-its Galore

We have moved on to the next phase of the adoption!
This past week, we went up to Indianapolis to have our interviews--couple and individual--with our adoption worker. Of course, we stressed it out way too much, and it was really very simple. The guy is really nice to talk to, and it was very easy going and friendly. The worst part was that we checked several sources and somehow still got bad information about what time zone Indianapolis is in (Eastern, in case you were wondering) and showed up 30 minutes late instead of the 30 minutes early we had planned. Luckily they didn't have any other interviews that day so it all worked out fine.
Connor, who has been dragged on trip after trip to see doctor after doctor, kept saying we were going to Cincinapolis. We finally convinced him of the true name, and now he randomly says, "I want to go to Indianapolis" about once a day. So I guess he had a good experience too.
Then yesterday, we had our home visit. Luckily, with the house being for sale we are used to picking everything up and just where to put it. And since we already have a child, everything was already thoroughly baby-proofed, so it was a breeze as well. Sweet Sharon Leezer, the adoption specialist for our stake, came over and stayed with me while he was here to have two women in the house so it wasn't just me and our adoption worker (agency rules).
So now, we have to create a website that talks about us and our family, as well as paper copies of the same thing. We have to put together pictures of us, as well as answer "What do you think about..." and "Who would you..." and "If you could..." type of questions. And then from there once everything is approved and the home study is written up, we are ready to be selected! So, my question is if anyone has any suggestions about digital scrapbooking. I guess that is how most people do the paper sheets. I have done just a tiny bit of stuff--mostly for the blog, but I think I am going to need to know more.
Wish us luck!