Saturday, November 28, 2009


Wow. Been awhile since we posted. I thought that while we were living with my parents for a few months we'd have more time, but it seems to be just the opposite. We had a wonderful Halloween (and I'll post a few pics later when I'm on the right computer) and a really fun Thanksgiving.

I think C is somewhat adjusted to living here but he seems to have decided to be mad at my mom instead of wanting all her attention. I think it is because she seems a little more empowered to handle some discipline, and he doesn't really care for that from her. My relationship with my mother is pretty much the same, only changing in the ways I would expect.

But it really has brought to mind this idea of an evolving relationship between a mother and a child. With C and I, he is only three years old and already our relationship had changed dramatically. Now, he wants information from me mostly...for instance he wanted to know the other day where the animals put their food if Baby Jesus was in their manger. I want to do as much as I can to spark his creativity, and he has a lot more personal needs than a typical child his age. But I also need to do some things for me sometimes, and just have "quiet" time.

So where is the balance? I see moms with new babies and moms with all grown-up kids who struggle with this same issue...and what do you do? Oprah would tell you that you need to have your "me" time and I think Dr. Phil would tell you to explore all your personal feelings and needs so as not to keep them bottled up, but I don't know that I agree with either one of those. I do think you are a better mom if you take time for yourself. Even Jesus Christ, the perfect example, took time away from his disciples sometimes to meditate and be on his own.

But I do believe there is a line, and sometimes I know I see people that are crossing it. I think that if you choose yourself and your feelings once, that's okay. But if that is a frequent choice and is damaging to your children, or more importantly your relationship with your children, then I think it becomes inappropriate.

My problem is that it is always easier to look at and judge others than it is to see those things in yourself. So I spend my days wondering if I'm doing enough for him, or not doing enough for me...and I guess in the end if I wonder enough both ways maybe it means that I'm really finding some undefinable middle ground. Guess I'll just hope for the best.