Lately, at the end of every day, I feel so exhausted and yet I have done nothing. I realized the other day it is because so much has happened to us lately that I haven't had time to mentally process it all...so even if my legs aren't moving much, my mind is just running and running.
At the end of June, we had the opportunity to attend the worldwide
FSMA Conference, which was so
conveniently located in Cincinnati this year. Adam's mom came with us a well, and as always we are forever grateful for the many ways she shows her love and support to us. The week before we left, I finally told Adam that I was truly scared to go. Not because I would learn anything shockingly new, but because I wasn't sure I could handle being immersed in it all for days at a time. I guess that doesn't make sense much since we live it every day, but Connor is really just a typical almost-three year-old, except that he can't walk. So sometimes it is easy to forget all that has happened, and some of the different
possibilities for the future.
After
experiencing the conference, I feel it was such a blessing that we were able to go. We did learn a lot about some things that might come up in the future, so that we are much more comfortable with them now. And it was so...well almost relaxing and empowering at the same time...to be with a group of people who all worried about the same things we do. I will carry that feeling with me wherever I go.
I think what impressed me most was the teen and adult panels. They talked about their experiences and what had worked for them and hadn't. It was so amazing to see all that just this small group had
accomplished. Between them all they had gone hours away from home for college, swam
competitively, given birth to a healthy baby, traveled to Costa Rica, and so much more. They were so open and honest, and as a parent raising a child with this challenge it was so refreshing to hear--I just soaked it all up.
What still stays with me is the words of one well-spoken college-age young woman. A parent asked her something about talking to our children about what they can and can't do, and her comment was that we should never discourage our children from anything, because if we look hard enough and work hard enough, there is a way.
I think that was so what I needed to hear. I am so grateful for the example of her unnamed parent who worked so hard to do just that for her, so I could see just how happy it made her...because I CAN do that too.
We also heard back that Connor's wheelchair was finally approved!!!!!!!!! We saw a chair just like it at the conference, and we are so excited for it do be delivered so C can start learning to drive.
And...just recently we got an offer on our house (finally!!) and if all goes well will probably be moving by the end of this month. I just bought packing tape and sharpies, but that's as far as I've gone. I'm not sure I'm really a rush-around-at-the-last-minute kind of girl, so really I think my hesitancy to start anything stems from the fact that we have spent five of our six years together as a married couple in this home. As a person, as a couple and as a family we have all changed so, so much from when we first got here. We came here as a couple still in school and barely past the first year of married--still pretty much newlyweds. And we leave with a true sense of who we are as a happy family, though much different than what we had pictured.
Shelbyville is our home, and as much as I know we need this move my heart is breaking to leave it.
As crazy as all this has been, we still feel enormously blessed that our Father in Heaven has answered our prayers in so many ways. We know that it is in following His timeline that we find the greatest happiness...and though some of this has been and will be hard, we know in the end it will all be worth it.
